My Psalm

by Sheryl Gray

This psalm is not Scripture, but a heartfelt reflection written in the style of the psalms—honest, prayerful, and directed to the Lord. Like David, we come with real emotions, real struggles, and real hope in God’s faithfulness.

In the days before my sorrow, You called me, O God.
You taught me to pray,
“My life is not my own. It belongs to You.”

I did not understand then,
but You were preparing me.

For trouble rose up in my house.
Illness came, and it returned again and again.
Hope lifted us, and sorrow followed close behind.

Yet even there, You were present.

I remember the day my husband cried out to You.
Your presence filled the room,
holy and heavy.

And I stood and prayed,
“Lord, do not take him.
But not my will, Your will be done.”

You heard me, O God.

We rejoiced together for a moment.
We celebrated love and years of faithfulness.
But soon after, You called him home.

And my heart cried out,
“Why, Lord? Why?”

My strength failed me.
I lay on the floor in my grief.
My tears were my food day and night.

I could not pray.
I could not speak.
I could only ask,
“Will You leave me here alone?”

But even in my silence,
You did not leave me.

You sent songs to carry me
when I had no words.
You reminded me
that You are faithful.

And slowly, I returned to You.

Your Word became my strength.
You are a shield to those who trust in You.
You give strength for the battle.

For I was in a battle, O Lord.
A battle with grief, with fear, with pain.

Yet You sustained me.

When my soul was overwhelmed,
You made room for my tears.
You led me to healing.
You ordered my steps
when I could not see the way.

And in time,
You restored my life.

Now I stand and say,
You have been good to me.

For even on the day of loss,
You gave me a gift.
We prayed together.
We laughed together.
We lifted Your name together.

What a gift
to spend our last day praising You.

And though sorrow still visits me
in moments and memories,
You have been my refuge.

You have healed me.
You have carried me.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers them from them all.

I would not have chosen this path,
but Your ways are higher than mine.

You have restored my joy.
You have placed a new song in my heart.

Therefore I will trust in You.

For You are my strength.
You are my portion.
You are my future.

And I will follow You
all my days.